WHEN FEELING STUPID READ THIS FOR A TONIC ...

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not

live forever, because  if we were supposed to live forever,

then we would live forever, but  we cannot live forever,

which is why I would not live  forever,"

-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss  USA contest .

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"Whenever  I watch TV and see those poor starving kids

all over the world, I  can't help but cry. I mean I'd love

to be skinny like that, but not  with all those flies and

death and stuff."                                 

--Mariah  Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very

important part of your life,"

-- Brooke  Shields, during an interview to become

Spokesperson for federal  anti-smoking campaign .

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"I've  never had major knee surgery on any other part

of my  body,"    

-- Winston  Bennett,  

University of Kentucky basketball forward .

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"Outside  of the killings, Washington has one of the

lowest crime rates in the country,"

--Mayor  Marion  Barry, Washington , DC .

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"I'm  not going to have some reporters pawing through

our papers. We are the president."

-- Hillary  Clinton commenting on the release of

subpoenaed  documents.

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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death

by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"

--A congressional candidate in Texas .

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"Half  this game is ninety percent mental."

--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny  Ozark

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's

the impurities in  our air and water that are doing it."

--Al Gore, Vice President  

And

"We are ready for an un foreseen event that

may or may not  occur."

-- Al  Gore,  VP

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"I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix ."

-- Dan  Quayle

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"We've  got to pause and ask ourselves: How much

clean air do we need ?"

--Lee Iacocca

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"The  word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A

genius is a guy like  Norman Einstein."  -

--Joe  Theisman,  NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude

certain types of people."

-- Colonel  Gerald  Wellman, ROTC Instrutor .

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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

--Bill Clinton,  President

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"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come

from overseas."

--Keppel  Enderbery

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"Your  food stamps will be stopped effective

March 1992 because we received  notice that

you passed away. May God bless you. You may

reapply if  there is a change in your circumstances."

--Department  of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack

in at night as they  go to bed and it will monitor their

heart throughout the night. And  the next morning, when

they wake up dead, there'll be a  record."

--Mark  S.  Fowler,  FCC Chairman

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