Ben Oostdam story # 696NOTES TO
THE MILKMAN
NOTES TO THE MILKMAN:
The milkman is a flexible entrepreneur
and can accommodate the changing needs
of his customer, provided he or she
leaves a note.
But not all notes are as simple as:
"one extra bottle of milk.:
Often these notes are quite funny...
- Milkman, please close the gate behind you
because the birds always pick apart the caps of the bottles.
- No milk. No milk for No.14 please because he is dead,
for the time being
- No milk to-day please.
When I say "today", I mean "tomorrow"
because I wrote this note yesterday
- One extra Bottle. Please knock on door
if this note blows away
- Knock on the door please. My TV is broken and I missed
"Coronation Street" yesterday. If you've watched it, please
tell me what it was about?
-
No milk please. We are gone for the weekend. That's also why
I hid this note under the doormat so no one knows.
- Sorry I did not pay your bill, but my wife had a baby
and I have carried it around in my pocket for weeks.
- From now on on alternate days two bottles please
and one on the days in between - except on Wednesday
and Saturday when I do not want milk
- I would like a cheap kind of milk because I am
suffering from stagnation
- (And finally a letter destined for Nigel Matthew,
the man who was elected best milkman in GB for 1991:)
"Money is lying on the table and wife in bed, please
take what you need."
- Dear Milkman: I just had a baby. One more, please.
BLO fecit 20110321 - stories